The Single Season
There’s still a lot of things going on with my life right now — even if I’m still single and I’m not really sure until when this phase of mine will fade but one thing is for sure I’m enjoying every single moment of it.
I’m not ready yet to let go of this moment — savoring every priceless memory of being single, and enjoying so much freedom, deciding things, making a fool out of my stupid decisions, eating a lot, burning some fat, biking, looking at the sun during it sets, having the liberty to have an hour of me-time every afternoon after work — it fulfills so much of my heart, people think you miss a lot when you are not in a relationship but in my experience since, I kind of appreciate this phase of my life for now.
These are some of the things I learn during this Season:
- This is the best season to be crazy in love with Jesus — because we know how Jesus loves us so much and we can learn to love Him through this season with our undivided attention. The more we seek Christ in our lives, the more we find so much content and fulfillment in Him. Life becomes more colorful, work becomes more meaningful and you learn to become more compassionate to the people around you because the more you receive Christ’s love the more you want others to experience and enjoy it, too.
2. You get to discover a lot of things about yourself — this is basic, think about it, since our childhood we are often bombarded with fairytale happy-ending love stories, and we are fast forwarding the time of becoming an adult to have a chance for that “very impossible perfect love story” and during this journey we tend to regret discovering who we really are because we have been so consume of doing things that will please the person that we like the most, and the more we pursue that unattainable relationship, we lose ourselves unknowingly in the process.
Whereas during this single phase of our lives, we get to learn who we really are by discovering the things we really like, and the things that interests us, the more we dwell into these, we tend to learn more about ourselves and thus leading us to realize what kind of person we want to spend the rest of our lives with.
3. You will learn your weaknesses and you have all the space and time to work on it — now that I’m single and I have all the attention to assess myself and what are the things I need to improve on. I came to realize that one of my biggest flaw is that I am an impulsive buyer, thinker and decision-maker. I do things impulsively, I’m a sanguine and I love surprises and spontaneity, I easily get bored, I don’t like routines and predictable lifestyle, I don’t want to be guessed right, I don’t want to lose the spirit of fun and wild adventure inside of me, I have this fire to keep things on maximum level at all times. And the more I realize that I’m like this, I find it alarming that if I’m not going to do anything about it, I might be able to bring such impulsiveness once I get married.
This could be one of the reasons of our arguments and misunderstandings with my future spouse. No wonder God haven’t allowed me to be in a relationship yet because He knows how wild and free-spirited I can be. I thought my only flaw is being materialistic (which I’m trying so hard to work on not buying things online anymore, if I needed one I opt to go to physical store in order to buy it) and that another flaw is being late. But then during our lay counseling our mentor made me realize that character building is not like peeling off a banana, its like peeling an onion layer by layer you get to see different sides of you — chapter after chapter of your life. And now that God has given me the wisdom to realize this, I hope that by His grace I will be able to do something about improving myself and not to allow these things to burn me over.
4. You can develop your skills, talents and strengths— since you don’t have a baby to tend to, or maybe your pets and your plants aren’t that much of a time-eater, because of your singleness you get to hone your skills, you get to learn more things, and try new things and go back doing what you love doing before but you were too busy doing it again.
This single season has a lot to offer, if we just know how to maximize the time we have we will never get bored. Go enroll for that doctoral studies, finish that specialization, attend as many seminars as much as you like, improve yourself, be the best version of yourself, establish your reputation and let others define you by what you do in life and how you stand in the core values you have embraced as a young adult. This is now your season to enjoy your prime years because once all of these have pass by, there’s no more regrets about why you didn’t do it, when you still have the chance to try it.
5. This is the precious time for preparation — parenting children is a skill that we can never learn unless we become one, but preparation is essential so that once we are already facing the battle, we are not empty handed but we are bringing with us the proper kind of armor that we can use to win the war. This single season is the only time that you can prepare for anything that can happen in the future, learn how to handle your finances, prepare your future home, invest now and enjoy the profits when you’re married, fill your mind with things that will help you become mature, but don’t lose out all the fun since this life is all about being able to balance every time.
Preparation means you need to learn some skills, like cooking, cleaning the dishes, de-cluttering, sorting out emails, ironing clothes, budgeting your finances, learning how to control your emotions, handling unexpected circumstances, embracing responsibilities and establishing rapport in the community where you belong. There’s still a long way to learn a lot of new things but you are also in the area of your life that you have already surpassed the easier levels that you’ve gone through before.
Singleness is teaching you to level up in all aspects of life especially emotionally, because if you will never be able to learn how to manage your emotions you will have a difficult time managing yourself in a relationship.
You need to train yourself with some physical fitness routine so that your body will maintain its vigor and energy, do not waste your life by living a dull routine filled with vices and unhealthy diet (and sometimes spending too much time on netflix) — that will kill you early and so it will make you regret in life.
Singleness will teach you how to take responsibility in paying the bills, in budgeting your money, paying your debts, not applying for loans, investing for the future like buying a home area or a house, buying things in the grocery and learning how to spend your money and resources wisely.
It will open your mind about the things you need to prepare for like being understanding, caring, forgiving, kind, gentle, tactful, respectful, faithful and good — you’ll know each of this values everyday once you open your heart, your mind, your body, your soul and your spirit upon the truth of believing in God and following His ways, learning from the life of Jesus and how we can live like Him as a salt and a light into the place where God has positioned us.
Singleness is a very important phase of each man’s life, its a beautiful gift one should enjoy and embrace, once you learn in the process, you acquire awareness of how to become fully mature and able to carry on with you another sinner, another soul, another person for the rest of your life.